exilerose-deactivated20220711:
no smart appliances in this house. absolute fucking moron appliances only. my toaster is there to make bread hot not to tweet what time I ate breakfast or whatever the fuck
don’t need my goddamn microwave to snitch to the nsa
if i am somehow forced to own a smart appliance (likely due to lack of availability) i will figure out how to take the computer out and make it dumb
lobotomize your coffeemaker
(via joey-wheeler-official)
me, crouched down in front of my tomato plants, examining a pattern of insect bites on their lower leaves: i’m going to fucking kill whoever did this. i’m going to kill them for you. don’t worry, babies. I’m going to murder every single son of a bitch who ever got a mouthful of you. they’ll die screaming
my neighbor, who i did not realize was also outside, standing behind the fence: oh! okay. you’re talking to the plants. okay.
(via hotboyproblems)
Pale people cant wear adidias jackets without looking like they look like they huff gasoline in czechoslovakia
(via joey-wheeler-official)
